It’s important to recognize that Andy & I were already married by our rabbi on August 8, 2004, in the eyes of God and our close family and friends. Nonetheless, we commemorate today the third anniversary of our “legal” marriage in California on June 21, 2008. California began marrying same–sex couples legally on Tuesday, June 17, 2008, and Andy & I drove Friday night to get to San Diego so we could be married the first day we could. It was not just a political statement, since we were already married and still are, but we did it for political and legal reasons. We went to show California that same–sex couples demanded legal marriage. As it turned out, we were married by a sweet young man who had been deputized for the occasion and was as sympathetic to our cause as can be, and we were blessed to have a few of our closest friends and my mother there to join us. It was, as you can see in the video, a heartfelt, tearful, and joyful occasion. This should not be an ephemeral phenomenon. Same–sex marriage should become legal throughout the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. It’s way past due.

Despite what our Republican Arizona state senator John McCain says, today’s a very happy day. Any policy that discriminates against, persecutes, and dishonors people for no good reason is a bad thing, and its repeal is a good thing— good not only for gays & lesbians in the military but also for their fellow soldiers. Heck, I think it’s good for our country and the world, because it fosters an atmosphere of maturity and civility and sends the right message to the world that America is indeed the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Incidentally, I took this photo last night at AZ88, a restaurant bar in the Scottsdale Civic Center, after watching Handel’s Messiah at the Scottsdale Center for the Performing Arts. I had no idea how timely it would be the very next day!

When I heard this on the radio in the car this afternoon, I could not help but beam with joy. I didn’t mean to have such an emotional reaction to the news; it just bubbled up from within. Regardless of whether or not the inevitable appeal against this ruling is upheld in the next hearing (which I don’t think it will be), this is a great step forward for equal rights.

Andy & I were legally married in California the first Saturday same-sex marriages were performed: June 21, 2008. Our marriage was upheld even after Prop 8. Still, it is meaningless where we live in Arizona. I have hope that this new ruling will set a precedent for similar rulings in other states.

I think the gay marriage argument is simple: opposite-sex couples have nothing to lose by same-sex marriage while same-sex couple have much to gain. The idea that “marriage is between a man and a woman” is Biblical at best and arrogant at worst. There is simply no reason a man and a man or a woman and a woman shouldn’t be allowed to marry if they want to. Separation of church and state; equal rights for all. That’s the American way.

Related posts from Smithers–Greene:

• Just Married!
• Our California Same-Sex Civil Marriage Ceremony

Andy & I had already been married by our rabbi at Dor Hadash in San Diego on August 8, 2004, but we jumped at the chance to make our partnership legal in California the first Saturday they performed these civil marriages: June 21, 2008. We were married at about 5:30 PM by a deputy named Michael, whom I recognized from the gay community. My friend Paul took this video with my Canon G9 camera, my mom and Andy’s friend David were witnesses, and also present were my mom’s friend Honey and David’s boyfriend Rich. There was an assistant in the room as well.

At the time we were married, this file was too large to upload to YouTube, I didn’t have the software to facilitate closed-captioning it, and YouTube didn’t yet allow for captions to be uploaded to accompany videos. Now, a year later, “we have the technology” (to quote from the opening sequence of The Six Million Dollar Man), and I have the honor of reliving this moment and crying at the wonder of it all.

I just want to say this: Love is gr8. Repeal Prop h8!

This little thing slips over my husband’s ear and makes our relationship different from any relationship in the history of the world– up until a decade ago. Okay, not just our relationship, but everyone’s. Just think of it– when else in history could a couple spend their whole commute home from work talking together in separate cars? We can now tell each other about our day, plan our evening, list things to do… sometimes we even discuss how we feel about each other and say anything that was left unsaid the last time we saw each other. By the time we get home after one of these discussions, we’ve moved past all that and are ready to settle into a comfortable evening together. Mobile phone technology and Bluetooth headsets have changed our lives, and I’d say for the better!

I took this photo in response to a monthly theme / challenge in the Gay Photographers (Family-Friendly) group titled "Belonging to Your Beloved." The object is to share a photo of something belonging to your beloved with a brief description of the item’s significance.

Andy & I are so blessed! We had a great Valentine’s Day and a double date with our friends Sean & Cody at Mi Pátio. This photo was taken by Cody with my camera.

I’m posting this on the one-week anniversary of our legal same-sex marriage in California. Since I took it with my Sidekick and uploaded it to Flickr right after our civil ceremony, it’s been viewed (as of this writing) 199 times, had received 53 comments, and 6 people call it a favorite.

A million thanks to all who made it possible for us to get married legally!

Andy & I first laid eyes on each other five years before the day we posed for this photo during our camping trip on Mount Lemmon. We’re still in love and as happy to be together as ever– even more so.

We bumped into each other getting in line for coffee at Claire de Lune coffee house in North Park (San Diego, California) on a Saturday morning, May 24, 2003. About all we said was “Hello!” and “Good morning!” and I wanted to meet him but I was busy having a meeting with a friend and he was busy having a meeting with some friends. Luckily, we met two days later, May 26, at a Memorial Day pool party. And we’ve been together ever since. This is the first year since we met that the days and dates we met coincided again.

This song sums up how I feel about meeting my life partner, Andy, five years ago this weekend.

The song is “Lucky To Be Me” by Leonard Bernstein from the musical On The Town. The lyrics (edit: by Betty Comden & Adolph Green) are:

I used to think it might be fun to be
Anyone else but me.
I thought that it would be a pleasant surprise
To wake up as a couple of other guys.
But now that I’ve found you,
I’ve changed my point of view,
And now I wouldn’t give a dime to be
Anyone else but me.

What a day,
Fortune smiled and came my way,
Bringing love I never thought I’d see,
I’m so lucky to be me.
What a night,
Suddenly you came in sight,
Looking just the way I’d hoped you’d be,
I’m so lucky to be me.
I am simply thunderstruck
At the change in my luck:
Knew at once I wanted you,
Never dreamed you’d want me, too.
I’m so proud
You chose me from all the crowd,
There’s no other guy I’d rather be,
I could laugh out loud,
I’m so lucky to be me.

A few notes on my performance: I know I have affectations in my singing and acting. I don’t know how to get rid of them. I feel like a parody of myself. And I know my pitch isn’t perfect. This was the 11th take, and there’s only so much time I can spend on this. There are other ways I can show my love for Andy, such as helping to pack for our camping trip this weekend.

I’m not saying this because I’m anticipating anyone’s criticism, and I’m not saying it to fish for compliments. I’m just saying it because it may be what’s holding me back in my performance, and I need to get over it. It’s more important for me to share this song the best I can sing it for now than to wait until I’m perfectly satisfied with it. I’ve been planning to sing this song, recorded it, and share it on the web for weeks now, and I won’t let my imperfection stop me.